Welcome to Paulville!

If you're a reader of this site, then you probably know about Ron Paul. If if you already know about Ron Paul, then you've probably heard of Paulville, the latest adolescent fantasy from the Paultard community. The Paultards live a paradoxical exist, where they claim to uphold the values of freedom and liberty, but where they abhor the fact that people might use their freedom and liberty to do things and believe things that they personally disagree with. What's that? Someone is using their freedom to doubt intelligent design as valid science? How dare they!

Paulville's solution is to set up a gated community designed to keep out the undesirables, thanks in large part to the genetic discrimination policies that Ron Paul valiantly fought to protect. Right now, a lot of blogs are reporting on the story, so I decided to report from Encyclopedia Dramatica:

Exodus: The founding of a new (sovereign) nation!
Meanwhile, in another small part of Texas, embittered Paultards are building a gated compound- uh, I mean, a 'gated community' named (wait for it...!) PAULVILLE. Yeah, you read correctly. No doubt an homage to Smallville because Dr. Paul is like Superman to his followers. The website says "The goal of Paulville.org it (sic) to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or people that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty", though they warn "These communities are not for the faint at heard (sic)". The whole affair appears to be organized along the lines of a co-op and is located somewhere near Waco. Given the general level of batshit-crazy that will consolidate there, this probably won't end well, will it?

"Pick a fucking side you fucks! You hate Dems and lefties but then you say that people living in Paulville are a joke... For choosing to uphold the constitution?? You are absolute morons if you believe for a second that the U.S. greenback is worth what wall street pretends it is and you knock the gold standard... Then you also CLAIM to dislike stupid government intervention, however, you mock those who creat (sic) a community to limit it??? ...Your site is one big sad fucking joke that gets all the facts but then fails to properly process the information. Please kill yourselves. You can blame your deaths on “the terrorists”. Assmunch!" -- a batshit-insane Paultard emails all the way from fucking Canada to BAAAW about a right-wing website making fun of "Paulville"

Please be careful about clicking those links if you don't already know what you're in for.

Ron Paul squanders campaign money on pointless ads

One definition of insanity is to repeat the same action over and over again, while expecting a different result. And we all already knew that Ron Paul is insane. So perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that Ron Paul would prove his fiscal conservatism and financial wisdom by pumping even more money into a long deceased campaign. In the above radio ad, Ron Paul goes over his usual list of talking points. You know, the exact same talking points that haven't gotten him very far in the past, where he recites his list of non-accomplishments, talks about his military donations, proclaims himself as the "Champion of the Constitution," in much the same way that Michael Scott proclaims himself as the world's greatest boss. Of course, I suppose that even the radio ad isn't as bad as the "sloppy seconds" posters that his supporters have been using.

Do you notice how often the radio ad mentions Ron Paul by name? As Seth Stevenson at Slate wrote, "I suspect most advertisers avoid the broken-record technique out of fear that it will annoy people. Which it does. But so what? Maybe a small percentage of us will snootily refrain from buying HeadOn—as an act of protest against an ad we find irritating—but this is a small price to pay when millions of other folks are now familiar with HeadOn, curious about it, and unlikely ever to forget its name. The repetition method serves no purpose for a well-established brand ("Coca-Cola: Pour it down your esophagus. Coca-Cola: Pour it down your esophagus"), but for a new product fighting to get noticed, it makes a lot of sense."

I suspect that the Paultards had a similar strategy in mind throughout the campaign. What they neglected to consider, of course, is that there is a huge world of difference between getting people to acknowledge a product, and getting people to buy a product. Conversely, they believe that if the American public doesn't buy Ron Paul, then it must be because they haven't acknowledged him, which is why they're quick to blame media conspiracy. Unfortunately for them, it's going too take a lot more than "Ron Paul, apply directly to DC" to win the office of Presidency.

RonPaulForums blames Obama for their loss

Yeah dudes, totally. It's Obama's fault for not abandoning his politics and his ideology and dropping out of the race, just so that Ron Paul might get a slight boost to his own poll numbers. Selfish bastard. And I don't mean "selfish bastard" in the Ayn Rand sense, which is supposed to be taken as a compliment. I mean that in the bad sense, which is to say that someone is using selfishness in order to promote their own cause, rather than Ayn Rands cause.

Paultards still don't get it

Guys, the problem isn't the perception that your guy can't win, the problem is the perception that your guy is fucking crazy.

Followup on Jennifer Call

A few days ago, we did a story on how Paultards were harassing an election worker named Jennifer Call, over their recent bout with soreloseritis. Now, it looks like the Paultards have an official explanation for their behavior: It's a conspiracy!

David805
Member

Some reality's of life.

1. Yes.. SOME of our ... Supporters are nuts ..

2. Some of the people here are not supporters of Ron Paul but claim they are.

3. The possibility that the people who called/sent email's /etc to this woman threating her and calling her names. Are actually not Ron paul supporters but GOP or even Democrat's who are trying to soil Ron Paul's name is quite high.

4. The recount will be done.. UNTIL the recount is done and a investigation is done NO ONE knows exactly all the facts. So i Caution anyone from causing hysteria before there is some evidence to prove without a doubt that fraud took place.

5. Those people who did harass this poor woman do not support Ron Paul.. If they did they would never have done what they did.

6. Until Proof Beyond a shadow of a doubt is presented we can not rationaly form a INFORMED opinion about this issue.

Ah, the "libertarians are infallible and anything that says otherwise must therefore be wrong" fallacy. After all, Paultards would never amount to harassing people, right?

Edit: Reading through that thread, the most annoying thing about it are the Paultards who insist that "Saying that it was an honest mistake is not enough!", as though they've never made a mistake before in their entire lives. Honest mistakes happen. This was a mistake of minor consequence. The only thing you can do is correct your mistakes when they're pointed out to you, which she did. Which is a lot more than I can say for Ron Paul. What's done is done. What more do you want from her? At this point, the Paultards are just upset over their recent defeats, and they're just looking for someone to vent their frustrations on.

Paultards on the Attack

Some of you may have heard about the conspiracy theories involving "voter fraud" in New Hampshire. Basically, an election worker makes a simple mistake, and the Paultards freak out. It's amazing how they can easily forgive Ron Paul for decades of racist newsletter articles, but one volunteer worker makes an inconsequential mistake about Ron Paul, and suddenly there's hell to pay. The Concord Monitor reports the story:

The assault picked up after lunch. Paul supporters phoning Call claimed to be from the media. Others just yelled, saying she had committed treason, fraud. One person said she should be shot. She received as many as 40 calls that day.

"One person said he was on a nationally syndicated radio station," Call said, "and he has given out my phone number and they need to call the town of Sutton to find out why there's voter fraud."

The voices came from everywhere. California. Ohio. Florida. Michigan. Very few were from New Hampshire.

A man from Texas e-mailed that he was "contacting, by certified mail, the Attorney General of New Hampshire . . . and requesting a complete investigation and prosecution of any and all parties involved."

A police dispatcher in New London said yesterday she'd received inquiries about the clerk's office phone.

Call got a handful of calls that night at home, refusing to pick up whenever an out-of-state number appeared on her screen.

Although some of the posters at ronpaulforums are apologetic, others are not:

this really only begs one question, If Jennifer Call didn't write the wrong vote down, then:
WHO WROTE DOWN THE WRONG VOTE?

gimmie a name
Until she fesses up who forged the wrong tally for Paul, then she deserves every single little damn bit of hell she receives. Give her Hell till she Confesses who it was that forged the wrong tally. Dont dare let her weasel out with a plea for pity!

And later...

what kinda idiots do they have running the voting there if they cant properly record a number from one peice of paper to another. i mean a 7 year old could do that. = clearly indicates fraud, and they thought they could slide with it. Look to the person that Actually wrote the Zero vote down for Paul. THAT guy is the criminal here.

Irony, thy name is Ron Paul.

Paultards wonder why women don't like them

From the ronpaulforums:

We are losing big time with all these women voting for Huck/Mccain/Romney. What the hell these women thinking? Look at all the CNN exit polls. Ron only gets few percent of the women votes!! This is outrageous! All people here mostly guys?! Are meetup group people mainly guys?! Our men have no girlfriends/spouse/mistress?? Start talking to girls! Make them fall in love in Ron Paul by telling them the message of liberty! If that does not work, make them fall in love with Ron by falling in love with you. There are millions of desperate housewives, young girls, hillary girls waiting to hear our message of liberty!

That's right, Paultards. How dare you hypothetically associate yourself with women folk who have support a different candidate. What's wrong with you? You need to be all, "Bitch! Where's my dinner? And then after you fix my dinner, I want you to vote for Ron Paul! Bitch!"

Ron Paul doesn't like to speak in emotions. The womens can't understand him.

And it's exactly that sort of attitude that makes their lack of success among women all the more baffling. I think I understand the sway of the Ron Paul meetup groups. It's probably the closest thing that any of their membership have gotten to human contact in their entire lives.

Paultards R Smarter than U11111

In another attempt to explain their crushing defeat, the Paultards have reverted to a new strategy: Insist that no one understands them because they're just too damned intelligent. Yes, a group of people who can't even grasp the concept of random sampling are much smarter than you are. How do they know this? Because someone found a chart showing that some people have higher IQs than other people, so we can safely conclude that the people with higher IQs must be Ron Paul supporters. It's the sort perfectly sound logic you would come to expect from an intellectually superior individual.

Of course, the Paultards can't help but gush over their "discovery," and using that to rationalize their unhappiness and misery. It doesn't dawn on most of them that the bell curve is symmetrical and therefore goes both ways, that measuring IQ isn't the same thing as measuring an adherence to a specific ideology, and that bragging about your penis size IQ score doesn't hold much weight when you do it online.

Defeated Paultards Turn to Steve Buscemi for Inspiration

Whenever libertarians talk to me about taxes and charity, I always think back to the opening scene from Reservoir Dogs, when Steve Buscemi tries to explain why he doesn't tip the waitress. Steve tries to take a principled stand on how he doesn't tip because society says he has to, but what it really boils down to is this: Steve Buscemi is a cheap bastard, who doesn't like to give his money to other people. At one point, one of the characters points out that the waitresses has to pay taxes on the tips, and Steve Buscemi answers back with, "Show me a paper that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball."

Ladies and gentleman, I now present you with the latest Paultard strategy to win votes after their humiliating defeat in New Hampshire, No Taxes on Tips. After watching all of their other efforts fail, this is what they're hoping that it will all come down to. Because yeah, Ron Paul might be crazy. He might be incompetent, he might be racist, he might deny evolution and attract the crazy vote. On the other hand, Ron Paul will make it so that you can stiff your waitress, completely guilt free. So I think it's worth it.

In an unsurprising turn of events, the Paultards are once again proving themselves to be sore losers. Some blogs have expressed disbelief over the fact that Ron Paul's performance in New Hampshire could be worse than his performance in Iowa, and are now crying foul. It turns out that New Hampshire had over twice the turnout that Iowa did, and it's a lot harder to spam elections when other people actually show up.